While sitting in my meditation practice this morning, I had flashbacks of my first couple weeks postpartum - one of the most challenge times of my life.
I had just given birth to the most precious thing in my entire life, and I was terrified of losing her. I thought all day and night about how I needed to protect her and care for her and make sure she was okay. I was obsessed with worrying about her and I couldn't shake the scary thoughts of what "could" or "might" happen to her.
I haven't thought about that time in awhile, and was surprised when it resurfaced. Then I quickly realized the memory had come with a message for me.
"When you worry about the future, you force yourself to feel feelings for something that never happened."
It took me a couple times to get it, so maybe read it again.
This message felt like a shooting star across my mind. An eternal truth I didn't know existed until that moment.
And then I thought...HOLY SH**, that doesn't make any sense!!! WHY have I been doing this to myself.
Soooo, a little fun fact about me. I don't "future trip" about small things, like forgetting the wet laundry or tripping at Target, I future trip about big scary sh**...like death. I go down the rabbit hole of myself, my family, and my friends and all the horrible ways they could die and how devastated I would feel if that happened.
Anyone else "future trip" about seriously scary stuff?
And as a highly sensitive person and empath, it's the WORST and escalates my fear levels even further. And fear breeds more fear.
I realized this morning that I have been forcing myself to actually FEEL the feelings as if all my family and friends died or horrible things happened in my life. And well...
It makes no sense. So I'm here today to tell you, to STOP FUTURE TRIPPING! Don't force yourself to feel feelings for something that never happened.
Save your feelings for right now, for this moment, and let them be good.
And if you're having a hard time, try this guided audio meditation for more love.
I am sending you ALL the present moment thoughts and feelings <3